Contemplation...

Celia asked me, "Are you happy with yourself? What would you change?"

As much as I wanted to say something, I couldn't help but think that I'm what I pictured myself to be since Freshmen year. I mean, there's tons of stuff I want to change in the past, perhaps I should have made more friends instead of relying on the same three hoes all the time, but I still have time. My future is set and it's nice knowing. I would like to exercise and look good, but seriously, who cares...I always yell at Nina for being anorexic anyways... I like eating and I like sitting around and not having to remember to go to the gym so I can look good for no one. That can wait for college.

As for that bubbly that follows me around, I do would like to be back in a bubbly, but I realize I still have the same anxiety that I had freshmen year. The chase and butterflies is nice, but when its getting closer and possibly, I panic and get scared. I should get that fixed before college hahaha I think being friends is good enough for me. Perhaps, in the summer I can tell him, but as long as I can hang out, I'm grateful.

Whatever, this is as good as it gets, and I will try to be happy. I love my ipod, my college, my friends, family and my doggiie and that's all that matters.

BACK

SLowly will I now creep back into the depression and anxiety of routine life.



I need to go to college.